Monthly Archives: March 2020

We Do It To Ourselves

I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while now. I’ve long had this theory that women get mad at our partners for not helping when in reality, we’ve taught them not to. Then came a worldwide pandemic and I wasn’t sure if it was relevant. However, I do think it’s still relevant. Because we’ve all been thrown into this crazy time of trying to work, take care of our families, and homeschool our kids. And we can’t do it all at the same time and do it well. We need to give ourselves a break. So read on and let me know what you think!

We do it to ourselves

I had a roommate in college who would reclean the bathroom after I cleaned it. So I stopped cleaning it. Now, depending on who you are in this story, you may think I was lazy because now I never cleaned the bathroom. Or you thought, sure, what was the point of cleaning the bathroom if someone else was going to redo it? That would be a waste of your time!

We, as women, create this scenario all the time. No one else can clean the kitchen or do the laundry or clean up like we do. Because, of course, it’s not done right if it’s done differently. So we do everything ourselves. We reload the dishwasher or don’t let our partners do the laundry. Because heaven forbid, it’s not done to our exacting standards.

Then, we complain because our partners aren’t participating in the housework. When in reality, we’ve driven them to this point. We treat them like they’re unable to do anything, so it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. They give up and we continue treating them like they are unable to do anything right.

We need to stop doing it all ourselves.

We can’t have it all. At least not all at the same time. And what does that even mean? We can’t magically do everything we want/need to and do it all well. It’s not possible, yet we beat ourselves up for not doing it every day. We overdo it and we constantly feel like we’re failing. Yet, we’re not. We have crazy high expectations that we’re never going to meet.

And this is what we model for our kids – that we must do it all instead of working with our partners. Whether you’re raising boys or girls, they’re watching you and seeing how you work with your partner. So the little girl watching her mother struggle to do it all instead of asking for help or letting something go is going to grow up to be the same crazed, stressed-out woman trying to do it all, feeling bad about not succeeding (even though it’s impossible). And the little boy is going to grow up believing that they don’t need to do much of anything. Because those were the examples they had growing up.

What if we changed that story?

What if we came into the kitchen that was mostly clean and thought great, someone loaded the dishwasher, now all I need to do is wipe down the counters? Or, said thanks for doing the laundry, can I help put it away? Or had the conversation of having too much on your plate and you need things to change? It’s not just helping each other – you’re in this together, you’re partners.

So let’s stop trying to do it all.

Let’s realize that life is like a symphony. Sometimes the violins are loud, sometimes it’s the drums. Sometimes there’s rest. But it all comes out a beautiful song in the end. Sometimes we’re going to work all day, sometimes we’re going to spend all day running errands, or playing with our kids or out on some adventure. And at the end of the week, we’ve covered most of it. And if it didn’t get done, it wasn’t important, and it can wait until the next song.

If you’re tired of feeling like there’s too much on your plate, I’d love to help you feel less overwhelmed! Let’s work together to create a task list and schedule that works for you! Let’s do this together instead of all on our own. If you’d like to chat more about this with me or want to learn more about how you’re spending your time, contact me or schedule a call.

Stop trying to do it all yourself!
Stop trying to do it all yourself!

Stuck at Home? Now What?

Life feels crazy right now.

We’re not sure what the next few weeks or even months are going to look like. You may be staring down 3 weeks at home with your kids, wondering how you’re going to get any work done. Or you may be alone or with a partner, wondering how you’re going to keep yourselves entertained.

There are so many articles out there on what to do while stuck at home. And maybe this one is just adding to it. I wanted to share what we’re doing here and give you a few more ideas.

I’m looking at 2-3 weeks at home with my husband and kids. Our goal is to not leave the house unless we have to. We’re rationing milk and cheddar bunnies. There will be tears (mine and the kids), there will be too much screen time, but there will also be laughter, lots of family time, and hopefully plenty of time outside. We’ll watch Frozen 2 way too many times. We just bought the DVD and our girls are obsessed. My youngest keeps walking around the house in her Frozen dress singing all the songs. Thankfully, I like the 2nd movie!

Anyway, we’re not going to be one of the households that keeps a strict schedule every day. My goal for each day is (in order of priority): Family time, physical movement/outside time, work/household list of tasks, relaxing/reading/tv. Our days will be flexible and fluid. We’ll take it day by day.

What does this make possible?

One of the best things I’ve read lately is from Jason Kotecki of Escape Adulthood. He asks the question: Now that this has happened, what does this make possible? (you can read his post here.) I don’t want to look back at these next few weeks and feel like I wasted all of our time being shut up in the house. I’ve made a list of all the things I can do for my business and around the house. It ranges from updating my website and planning my marketing for the year to working on my photo books and cleaning out paperwork. I also plan on learning a few new games to play with my kids. Family time is the most important of all of this to me.

I know other articles out there have talked about all the organizing tasks you can tackle while you’re stuck at home. And they’re right! Now is a great time to tackle that closet, basement, or garage. If you want any guidance on a project, send me a message https://homemostsimple.com/contact-me/ or schedule a call.

I’ll be posting on my Facebook ideas on how to make this time productive. And if you need to chat, even just to connect with someone, I’m here!

Stuck at home?
Let’s all take a deep breath. We got this.